Chaos Theory Indeed: Some Madman Dentist Is Trying To Clone John Lennon
God created John Lennon. God destroyed John Lennon. God created Man. Man destroyed God. Man created John Lennon. Soon this might actually be a real possibility, at least if one Canadian dentist gets his wish. Yes, you read that right: John Lennon, the famed member of the Beatles who was slain by Mark David Chapman on December 8, 1980, killed too young in a fruitless act of violence, might be getting cloned. But if this dentist gets his wish, John Lennon will return…or, you know, a person who shares the gene’s of John Lennon but none of the musical aspiration or talent. Yeah, that’s probably more likely.
Seriously, this news story is just baffling to me. If you’ve ever taken even the most cursory of glances at our logo emblazoned on the top of the page, you might notice that our official motto is “Overindulging on Film, TV, and Video Games.” And though technically this story pertains to none of that, it’s just so fucking bizarre that I couldn’t help but write something up about it. A Canadian dentist, collector of teeth (totally not weird) and avid Beatles fan Michael Zuk has apparently sold a rotten molar of Lennon’s US researchers in the hopes that they will be able to extract DNA from it and use it to create a brand new John Lennon. It’s not amber I guess, but it’ll have to do.
There’s so much wrong with this idea that I’m not sure where to start. First of all, who’s to say that this Lennon will even be like the original John Lennon? Despite what science fiction might tell you, a new John Lennon won’t just walk out of a machine, pick up a microphone, and start being a Beatle again. If anything, a baby with genes identical to Lennon will come out, and who knows what will become of him. Maybe he’ll want to be a ballet dancer or something. He doesn’t have the personal experience nor relationships that made Lennon who Lennon was, so thus who won’t BE Lennon. But from the sounds of it, Zuk doesn’t understand that.
“I am nervous and excited at the possibility that we will be able to fully sequence John Lennon’s DNA, very soon I hope. With researchers working on ways to clone mammoths, the same technology certainly could make human cloning a reality… The potentially to say I had a small part in bringing back one of rock’s greatest stars would be mind-blowing.”
Dr. Zuk kind of sounds like the name of a maniacal scientist, doesn’t it?