Four Reasons Why Megan Fox As April O’Neil in The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Is Just Plain Wrong
Last week, a pretty depressing piece of casting news hit the internet. That, after years of battling back and forth amongst one another, Megan Fox and Michael Bay have reunited to work on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot together (or, as it’s sometimes called, Ninja Turtles). Even worse? Fox was tapped to play the female lead in the film, reporter April O’Neil. And if anyone knows anything about TMNT, they know this is a terrible, terrible idea. And if you didn’t already know that, here are just four of the most important reasons why. You’re welcome!
She Doesn’t Resemble The Character
This is obviously the most noticeable from the get go…just look at that picture up there. How does the black haired beauty that is Megan Fox even begin to resemble reporter April O’Neil? Yes, I know that we’ve seen casting like this in the past, the most recent example being Amy Adams as Lois Lane in Man of Steel. But it’s different with Adams as Lois Lane; even though she doesn’t physically resemble the character, I can still picture her playing Lane just because I can picture her playing the fast talking reporter role with ease. For Fox, not so much. Or at all, really. And not only is it just because Fox isn’t that type of person, but it’s also because…
She Can’t Act
Seriously guys—she really can’t. I haven’t seen a single film where Megan Fox wasn’t there just to look hot, or to make fun of the fact that she is really, really hot. I have yet to see This is 40, but I have to imagine that her entire role is based around the fact that “Wow, she she sure is attractive!” April O’Neil has to be more than a pin up model turned character. She needs to have a spark and wit about her that Megan Fox just lacks…or if she has it, has literally never presented it on screen before.
Everyone Else Was Better
This point is a big one for me, and it really shows how depressing Fox’s ultimate casting really was; of all the young actresses on Paramount’s shortlist for the role, Megan Fox was easily the worst. And believe it or not, all the other actresses actually would have been GREAT in the role. Elizabeth Olsen has proven herself a very capable actress, one deserving at the very least of a big breakout role like of April O’Neil in a TMNT movie. Jane Levy is red headed AND spunky, and yet she didn’t get the part. And Anna Kendrick? My god people, we could have had an April O’Neil PLAYED by Anna Freaking Kendrick. Megan Fox kept a role going from going to Anna Kendrick—it’s almost like I have to hate her casting. It’s really baffling that with all the fine choices out there, Bay and Co. would choice Fox…but I guess it’s not to surprising really.
It Signifies This Will Indeed Be A Michael Bay-itized Ninja Turtles
When it comes down to it, this is the most depressing aspect of Megan Fox’s casting in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. For the longest time, this reboot has been referred to as “Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” From the beginning I hoped this wouldn’t be the case, as Bay is only producing the film via his Platinum Dunes outfit. But now more than ever, I know Bay’s involvement in this film will be more than passing. He was the one who made the announcement about Fox’s casting, and I’m willing to bet he was the one who got her in the role in the first place. And if he’s so involved in the film that he has a direct hand in casting the lead, what else is he capable of? I’m no where near the biggest hater of Michael Bay; in fact, I think he’s a more than exceptional action director. But the problem here isn’t Bay’s direction; he won’t be involved in that respect. No, his contributions will be felt through story, tone, and yes, casting. And that’s what really scares me. Are we bound for a rewrite of the script written by Ehren Kruger? Will Master Splinter be a perverted old bastard who humps the leg of any creature he sees? Will we have the turtles as illiterate fools voiced all by African Americans? I shudder at the thought.
On the whole, I’m not asking a lot from the new TMNT—it doesn’t have to be a Dark Knight level superhero classic, or even the best action movie ever made. I just want to have a fun film about four mutated turtles fighting bad guys; it really shouldn’t be too hard to pull off. But with Michael Bay and Megan Fox at the forefronts, it’s going to be an uphill climb for this reboot. But what say you? Do you think there’s hope for this project yet?